A couple of weeks ago I made a big decision.

I went up to my boss and told her I wanted to put my two weeks in.

Through a few tears and some painful conversations, I eventually stared down my last day this past Friday.

I went back and forth on whether or not I wanted to share this at this point… because honestly, it’s terrifying to step outside of the norm and also tell a bunch of strangers on the internet how scary and unknown some certain aspects of your life are.

But I want to be real. I want to tell the truth. I want to be open.

And while it was also equally as terrifying trying to explain this to all my coworkers and team members, I know that ultimately in my heart it was the right decision. Although I had some questions, I also knew I had peace.

So what led me to this decision?

Well… a few things…

1. I went home at night with my bucket feeling more empty than filled up.

2. I didn’t feel like I was serving anybody.

3. I wasn’t using all of my gifts and strengths.

4. I was lacking passion.

Because can I just be real with you?

I don’t want to live a life that is surrounded by a paycheck. I don’t want to live a life that isn’t focused on serving others. I don’t want to live a life that doesn’t involve me using every drop of talent and gift that I have. I don’t want to live a life where I dread the start of the work week. I don’t want to get caught up in a cycle of repeating my day and counting down the hours until it’s over.

I want to live with passion. I want to take some risks. I want to be able to look back on my life and declare that I gave it everything I had.

Some will call it stupidity. Some will call it being naive. Some will shake their head and say they’ll see me back at work in six months.

But I refuse to live a life that doesn’t fill up my bucket. I refuse to live a life where I’m not serving anyone. I refuse to count down the days until the weekend or my next vacation.

I’m stopping the cycle. 

Are there a lot of unknowns in this next step for me? Absolutely. 

But I know it’s worth the risk.

And if I fail… well… now you know… and a few hundred more people ;) but I’m going to do all I can to live a life that fills me up and actually makes me feel like I’m living.

I don’t know what all God has in store for this next season… Do I have some plans? Yes. Do I know how they will all unfold? No. But I’m believing and trusting that this next season is going to be a great one.

I hope this encourages you to not just settle. Don’t just be comfortable. If you have a dream, go take steps to make it happen. You’ll never learn to fly if you don’t take a leap.

So here I am. Exposed. Called out. Slightly scared. But at peace. And full of hope. And so excited for what’s in store.

I came across this passage the other day and wanted to share it with you. I read it at church and allowed it to be an anthem for myself. Let it be yours too. From Isaiah 43:

“But now, God’s Message,

The God who made you in the first place,

The One who got you started:

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.

I’ve called your name. You’re mine.

When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.

When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you’re between a rock and a hard place,

It won’t be a dead end - 

Because I am God, your personal God, 

The Holy of Israel, your Savior. 

I paid a huge price for you:

That’s how much you mean to me!

That’s how much I love you!

I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,

Trade the creation just for you.

So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.

I’ll round up all your scattered children,

Pull them in from east and west. 

I’ll send orders north and south:

‘Send them back.

Return my sons from distant lands, 

My daughters from faraway places. 

I want them back, every last one who bears my name,

Every man, woman, and child.

Whom I created for my glory,

Yes, personally formed and made each one.’”

God never promised that there would never be a time where we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. He never promised that there would never be a time where we’d have to walk through fire.  He never promised that there would never be a time where we’d have to walk through water.

But He did promise to always be there with us through it.

There’ll be another in the fire. Standing next to me.

There’ll be another in the water. Holding back the seas.

And should I ever need reminding how good He’s been to me,

I’ll count the joy come every battle - ‘cause I know that’s where He’ll be.

Speak that truth over your life today, friend. And go live a life that makes you feel like you’re really living.