The start of a new year presents the perfect opportunity to reflect on what we’ve learned, where we’ve been, and most importantly, where we want to go in the future - both as individuals and as a couple. I believe that personal growth and a strong marriage go hand in hand, and that by prioritizing both, you can create a year full of purpose, joy, and growth.

So, as 2025 approaches, I want to share with you how my husband Tyler and I are approaching this new season of life with the goal of not only strengthening our individual journeys but also deepening our connection as a couple and as a family. Here’s a blueprint to start the year strong—one that will empower you as an individual and help your marriage flourish.

1. Work on YOU First: Growth Starts with the Individual

It’s so easy in a relationship to focus on what your spouse isn’t doing, what you wish they would do differently, or where they could improve. But the key to a thriving relationship starts with the individual. Instead of looking to your partner to change everything about themselves to make the relationship better, focus on what you can do. Change within yourself can be a powerful catalyst for change within the relationship.

Tyler and I have learned that when we work on ourselves, the effects are often contagious. For example, over the past year, Tyler has been extremely intentional about diving into Scripture. He’s made it a point to read his Bible consistently, and I’ve seen the fruits of his labor in how he leads our family spiritually and in his personal growth. The interesting thing is that he never once nagged me about reading my Bible more or encouraged me to “do better.” Instead, seeing his commitment to spiritual growth made me want to step up and make more time for the Word myself. His actions became an inspiration rather than a source of pressure.

This is the beauty of personal growth—it often rubs off on the people closest to you. When you work on your own character, your own habits, and your own spiritual life, it can inspire your spouse to do the same. You can’t force change, but you can become the change you want to see. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t communicate needs within your marriage—it just means that you can’t rely solely on your spouse to change in order to make the relationship better. You have to start with yourself.

2. Set Goals Together: Dream, Plan, and Execute

This year Tyler and I decided to set clear and intentional goals—together. We’ve found that when we sit down and dream about what we want for the year, not only do we feel a sense of excitement, but we also create a roadmap for success. It’s important to note that we don’t just set goals for ourselves individually; we make sure to create goals as a couple and as a family.

In 2025, we’re aiming to accomplish a variety of goals that will help us grow both individually and as a couple. Here’s how we’re approaching it:

Individual Goals

Each of us is setting personal growth goals that align with where we want to be in our personal lives, careers, and faith. For Tyler and I, one of our individual goals is to read one book per month. I’ve already planned out my reading list for the year, which will help me stay on track. I’ve placed the books in a spot where I can see them every day to remind myself of my commitment.

Another personal goal I’ve set for myself is to begin my Master’s degree in the fall of 2025. This is a big step for me, but I’m excited to challenge myself and continue growing professionally and personally. Tyler has set a goal to memorize 40 Bible verses this year, which is already making a huge impact on his spiritual life. I love watching him commit to this, and it motivates me to dive deeper into the Word myself.

Couple Goals

As a couple, we’ve set goals that will help us strengthen our marriage and continue growing together. For example, we’ve committed to having an overnight getaway at some point this year. Life with young children can be chaotic, and we want to be intentional about carving out time for just the two of us.

We’ve also committed to having a monthly date night and a weekly Saturday workout together. These aren’t just goals; they’re a way of prioritizing each other and our relationship.

Family Goals

When it comes to family goals, we’re planning to take some fun trips this year and host friends more regularly. We’ve decided to set up a monthly rotation where we invite friends over for dinner, making sure that we’re connecting with our community and investing in relationships that matter.

But it’s not just about setting goals—it’s about accountability. We’ve scheduled monthly family meetings where we’ll check in on how we’re doing with our goals, celebrate progress, and make adjustments as needed. This accountability will help us stay on track and ensure that we’re all growing and thriving together.

3. Set Each Other Up for Success: Support Over Criticism

The other day, Tyler made a comment that really made me stop and think. He said, “Thanks for setting me up for success.” I asked him what he meant, and he explained that when I’m going to be out of the house, I always make sure there’s a meal ready for him and the girls. He also pointed out that I make a point to speak highly of him to our children, which sets him up to be a more confident and capable father.

This really stuck with me. It made me realize how easy it would be to do the opposite—especially with young kids. It’s easy to feel resentful or tally up the “things you do” compared to what your spouse does. But if you want to build a strong marriage, it’s essential to actively set each other up for success. This means looking for opportunities to encourage one another, celebrate each other’s wins, and focus on the positive.

Instead of focusing on what your partner isn’t doing, try to focus on what they are doing well. It’s amazing how this shift in mindset can transform a relationship. Small gestures—whether it’s preparing a meal, offering a compliment, or doing something thoughtful—can go a long way in making your spouse feel valued and supported.

4. Fight for Each Other, Not Against Each Other

As much as we want to think that our relationships will be free from conflict, the reality is that all marriages face challenges. There will be disagreements, frustrations, and misunderstandings. But when those moments arise, it’s important to remember to fight for each other, not against each other.

Marriage is a partnership. The goal isn’t to “win” the argument but to come to a resolution that honors both partners. It’s easy to slip into the habit of assuming the worst about your spouse or jumping to conclusions. But this year, I encourage you to choose to fight for your partner rather than fighting against them.

This doesn’t mean avoiding conflict altogether—it means approaching disagreements with the goal of understanding each other’s perspectives, showing grace when things don’t go as planned, and always keeping the bigger picture in mind. Marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, choosing love, and working through challenges together.

5. Put God at the Center of Your Marriage

If you want to start this year strong, make sure that God is at the center of your marriage. For us, we view our marriage as a reflection of Christ’s love for His Church. We believe that the way we love each other should reflect His love for us: sacrificial, unconditional, and full of grace.

A great way to keep God at the center of your marriage is through prayer. Studies show that couples who pray together regularly have a divorce rate of less than 1%. Tyler and I make it a priority to check in with each other and ask how we can pray for one another. And before we go to bed, we try to take a moment to pray together. It doesn’t have to be a long prayer—it’s about connecting spiritually and inviting God into every aspect of our marriage.

We also make it a point to dive into the Word together. We don’t follow the same Bible reading plan, but we both prioritize reading Scripture daily and take an interest in what the other is studying. This keeps our hearts aligned with God’s will and deepens our connection with one another.

6. Be Willing to Grow and Do the Hard Work

Marriage isn’t easy, and personal growth doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to face the hard parts of yourself that need work. As much as we want our marriages to be filled with joy and peace, there will be times when you’ll need to roll up your sleeves and do the work.

Marriage has a way of revealing areas of your heart that need healing or growth. Be willing to ask God to sanctify you and help you become a better partner. Be open to feedback and willing to have those hard conversations.

Ultimately, a strong marriage needs mutual growth. The more you grow as individuals, the more your marriage will flourish. And the more you nurture and support each other in your personal growth, the stronger your connection will become.

Final Thoughts

Starting the new year strong requires intentionality, purpose, and a commitment to growth. By focusing on your own personal development, setting goals together, supporting each other, and putting God at the center of your marriage, you can create a year that’s full of love, joy, and meaningful progress.

Let’s make 2025 the year we prioritize our marriages, set goals for growth, and do the hard work of becoming the best versions of ourselves—for ourselves, our spouses, and our families.