Definer: The Truth About Who Defines You
I don’t know about you, but throughout my life, I’ve had a lot of people try to define me. Try to tell me who I am. Try to tell me what my meaning is. Try to put boundaries or limits on what I can and cannot do. Pretty much label me with a definition.
Have you ever had someone do this to you? It may have been a name someone called you at school or work. It may have been something one of your friends called you that they said out of anger and didn’t mean. It may have been what a brother or sister called you when you really ticked them off. Or what that mean girl on Instagram commented on your photo. It may have been someone telling you you’re not smart enough, not fast enough, not cool enough, not rich enough, not Christian enough.
We are constantly being defined by the world. The definitions of who we are get tossed around like the waves of the sea, and it’s hard to make out what gets washed up on shore. Because after all the tossing and all the turning and all the giant crashes and even sometimes whispers of the ocean or the people around us, it’s sometimes hard to make out what actually surfaces.
And when we get these definitions placed upon us, it can be easy to live into those things and change who we are.
That almost happened to me in high school. A lot of cool things were happening for me. Life was good. Then my teacher came up to me and asked me what happened between me and one of my good friends. I said, “I had no idea there was anything wrong.” and he said, “Well she’s been bashing you in my class, telling everybody that you’re this and that.”
I was shocked. Nothing had happened between us, but this friend decided to just turn on me and start defining me differently to the people in our school. She started posting mean things all over social media. She called me every name in the book. Just tearing my apart, trying to define who I was. And some people even liked what she posted!
That hurts. It hurts when the definition of what people have for you doesn’t match what you know to be true. It hurts when you start believing some of the awful definitions that people give you.
But lucky for me when she said those things and even got a couple of others to believe it, I did not accept that definition for my life. I did not allow the things she said to define me.
Instead, I had to let God in and let Him define who I was.
There’s this woman in the Bible who has totally been defined by worldly things. The physical traits about her had carried over to her emotional and spiritual life. She was who the world said she was. The Bible talks about her in Mark 5:21-34, and this is what it says:
“After Jesus crossed over by boat, a large crowd met him at the seaside. One of the meeting-place leaders named Jairus came. When he saw Jesus, he fell to his knees, beside himself as he begged, “My dear daughter is at death’s door. Come and lay hands on her so she will get well and live.” Jesus went with him, the whole crowd tagging along, pushing and jostling him.”
So Jesus was on his way to go help this man’s daughter, and when he was on his way, this is what happened...
“A woman who had suffered a condition of bleeding (hemorrhaging) for twelve years—a long succession of physicians had treated her, and treated her badly, taking all her money and leaving her worse off than before—had heard about Jesus.”
This woman had been so wrongly mistreated by people. Twelve years she had been bleeding, so she was looked at as unclean at that time. People at that time believed that even if they touched her, they would then become unclean. Everyone had the wrong definition of her.
“She slipped in from behind and touched his robe. She was thinking to herself, “If I can put a finger on his robe, I can get well.” The moment she did it, the flow of blood dried up. She could feel the change and knew her plague was over and done with.”
Jesus was in this giant crowd - like gigantic crowd - and they were pressing in from all sides, but yet he stopped because he knew something had just happened.
“At the same moment, Jesus felt energy discharging from him. He turned around to the crowd and asked, “Who touched my robe?”
His disciples said, “What are you talking about? With this crowd pushing and jostling you, you’re asking, ‘Who touched me?’ Dozens have touched you!”
The disciples got kind of frustrated… Like are you kidding me?! What do you mean who touched you?! There are people everywhere!!!
“But he went on asking, looking around to see who had done it. The woman, knowing what had happened, knowing she was the one, stepped up in fear and trembling, knelt before him, and gave him the whole story.”
Jesus said to her, “Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed! Be healed of your plague.”
This woman had spent all her money on doctors who couldn’t heal her. Her disease had entirely ruined her reputation. But she had the faith to go through that crowd and find Jesus - to simply touch even his robe - and believe that she would be healed.
Jesus does just that, but it goes even beyond the physical aspect of the woman. He provides a platform for her to restore her reputation. And He calls her daughter. Not the woman with the issue of blood… daughter.
That woman knew that there was more to her life than the definitions the world was putting on her. She knew the One to go to to clear her head, heart, and spirit of all the things the world was telling her she was. She wasn’t just going to accept those worldly things that defined her - she knew there was more to her story.
And can I just tell you that there’s more to your story? You may have some mean definitions of yourself that you’re believing. You’re starting to define yourself by what the world says about you.
Let Jesus define you instead. Reach out, extend your hand, have the faith to touch what you can, and believe that He can restore any of your brokenness, any faulty definitions that are swirling around in your head.
This story demonstrates some things about the guy who we have faith in:
He is never too busy to stop what he’s doing and bring restoration to your life. He was on his way to go heal somebody else, yet He made a point to pick that woman out and restore her.
Jesus wants to know your story and will use your brokenness for restoration to make you whole. He is capable of bringing healing to any situation - I don’t care how bad your relationship is or what those mean people say about you - God. Can. Bring. Healing.
Jesus does not care about the definition the world gives you. To Him, it means nothing. You are not defined by what the world says you are. You are defined by who God says you are.
And that means you are loved. And you are known. And you are miraculous, a true gift to the world. God is using you, and He wants to throw out the definitions that are leaving you tossed and turned in the sea and instead have you take his hand and come out and walk on the water.
I know it’s tough. I know it’s tough to not let those things the world says define you. I know it’s tough to forgive those who have hurt you and allow God to bring healing in.
But if I would have let those definitions from that mean girl back in high school define me, I would’ve cowered back in fear instead of rising up in faith. God is going to bring healing into your life. He is going to tell you who you are when you look to Him.
One night I came home from a job I hated. I came home all mad and irritated, and I was crying on our couch, practically screaming and kicking like a little baby saying, “I don’t know who I am or what God wants me to do!!” This is what I told my husband, Tyler.
Tyler told me these four words that I so did not want to hear: “Get into the Word.” For some reason later that night after putting it off, I felt like I should read Ephesians. I didn’t want to, but when I opened up the Bible, this is what was underlined on the page and what my eyes fell upon:
Ephesians 1:11-12 “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.”
Let God define you. It’s better than any worldly definition you could ever receive.
If you’re tired of the definitions the world is slapping on you, if you’re tired of letting negative people in your life try to define who you are, if you want the Creator of the Universe to define you instead, why don’t you go ahead and tell Him that?
Go ahead and tell Him, “God, I want you. I choose you. You are my definer.”
It is in Him that you will find out who you are and what you are living for. So who will you allow to be your definer?