Tyler and I are going through a relationship series right now with our youth and college students. This past week we preached together and shared our story while also sharing some straight truth to our students, and one question we asked each other was, “What do you wish the next generation would understand about love?” 

It’s very easy to misconstrue the truths about love. Celebrities, billboards, TV commercials, social media, the list goes on… continues to fill our minds with false advertisements on love. The sad thing is that we actually believe some of those lies. Tyler and I wanted to address that. So here we are: six lies you believe about love. We hope it encourages you and gives you some strength to replace those lies with truth too.

Enjoy!

LIE #1: Love is easy.

Nope. It ain’t easy. And things won’t be perfect once you do find the love of your life… despite what all those romance movies tell you. Loving someone takes all of the things listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

What’s important to remember is that Jesus died for us. He died for us because He loves us so much, but Him dying on the cross was not easy. But He did it anyway. He sacrificed for us. Because He loves us so much.

Love isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.

LIE #2: Words are enough.

Nuh uh. Let the walk be louder than the talk. Show with action that you love someone rather than telling everyone else how much you love them. It’s certainly not wrong to tell others that you love someone. Heck, Tyler and I both love bragging on each other!! But we don’t NEED to post on social media once a week with a #WomanCrushWednesday or a #ManCandyMonday to show how much we love one another. We can show our love through our words AND actions within our day to day.

Sometimes we stick around because the people we’re with talk big and tell us what we want to hear. And at times, it can almost look like loving someone is a show. It doesn’t need to be!! Let the walk be louder than your talk. Don’t just have a big mouth. Have a big heart with actions to reflect it.

LIE #3: Communicating is overrated.

Tyler and I have learned how important it is to just communicate with one another. Yes, you can let go of the small things, but when the small things have the potential to become big things, bring them out into the open so you can talk through them before they become a bigger issue.

Satan wants secrecy. He wants things to remain hidden. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Bring it to the light. Talk to God about it. Speak it out. Communicate it. 

Time and time again in the Bible God gives us instructions. How do we hear from God and tell Him about our needs? We communicate. That’s how a relationship is strengthened. 

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. 

LIE #4: Giving yourself away is okay.

Don’t do it. Don’t give yourself away. Don’t give yourself away before you are committed to a married relationship. What do I mean by giving yourself away? I mean all of it. Whatever is sexual - that’s what I’m talking about.

I want you to think about this for a second. Let’s pretend you’re going to take all your money and deposit it into the bank. Pretend you have a lot of money…

When you go up to the teller - the person who takes your money - they tell you that your money may or may not be safe with them. A robber may come in and steal your money. They may just give it away to someone else who wants it. It’s not a for-sure thing your money will be safe. They can’t make the commitment that you’ll get all your money back. 

Would you do it? Would you give everything you have away?

No. You wouldn’t. So then why do we treat our bodies differently than our money? Why are you wasting your time, depositing all that you have into people who may never have any return on your future?

Don’t give all you have to someone you are not committed to in marriage. They may tell you things you want to hear now and some of them may mean it, but until you can be at that level of commitment, don’t make your deposit.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

LIE #5: Build your life upon your relationship.

No thank you. Instead, build God as your steady foundation.

Don’t go running around trying to get someone else to stabilize your soul. Only God can do that. Get into the Word. Ask Him for His wisdom. Surround yourself with a community of believers. Ask God to convict you of areas of your life that need to change. 

Don’t look to worldly things to get an idea of what love or “self-love” is. Don’t even get me started on the whole self-love movement. Yes, take care of yourself, get help when you need it, but posting half-naked pictures of yourself on the internet is not self-love. That’s just crying for attention. 

I hate this whole “you do you” movement. I hate it. We encourage each other to do what feels good. Well guess what?! You doing you is sometimes really stupid. Because you’re never going to get it all right on your own. Look to God. He’ll show you a love that is way less vain and a whole lot more valuable. Build your foundation upon Him.

Matthew 7:24 Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

LIE #6: Trust your feelings.

Well you certainly can do this, but it won’t always lead you down the right path. Here’s why:

Your feelings are fickle.

Some of y’all think every cute girl or guy you meet is “the one.” I hate to break it to you, but they’re probably not the one. Just because you like something, does not mean it is good for you. Just because you are attracted to something, does not mean it is good for you.

Some of you may have this mixed up idea in your head that, “Oh, I’m a girl. I think I like this girl or this guy because I have feelings.” Well guess what. Eve “liked” the apple in the garden of Eden, but look what that led to. Your feelings are fickle, meaning they are here one day and gone the next. 

Some of you are like, “Okay, if I can’t trust my feelings, who do I trust?” God!!! Trust the Holy Spirit that lives inside of you when you choose to believe in Jesus. You have to lean into that truth that you know deep down from the Holy Spirit. 

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There are a lot of lies you can believe about love. Don’t do it. Go to God for the truth instead. When you get the truth and you live the truth, it will save you from a whole lot of heartbreak and hurt. Trust God.

Watch Him lead you in love.