Our Honest Thoughts on Having Baby #2
Well it’s almost time!! Baby #2 is almost here, and we wanted to talk about our honest thoughts and feelings as we gear up for our sweet little girl to enter the world. Listen to the podcast or read the blog below, and be encouraged with wisdom and practical tips for this season!
First of all - just so we have it documented - I am nearing 39 weeks as we post this out into the world, so the time for babe is COMING! Which is one of the first things we wanted to talk about…
It’s Happening
It’s actually happening. Like there’s no going around it. Within a week or two, we will have another little human to call ours. Which is so weird to think about knowing it’s going to happen but not knowing exactly when, you know?
And because it’s our second, I’m so much more aware of things I didn’t think about before. So naturally that can lead to even more questions…
When will it happen?
Will my water break?
How long will this labor and delivery take?
Will they get the IV in right away?
Am I getting an epidural?
Will my epidural be good?
Will I chug down those little flavored ice things at the hospital again?
Will Tyler have to fan me with a clipboard so I don’t pass out?
Do I want to breastfeed?
How will breastfeeding go?
Will this baby sleep?
How long until she sleeps through the night?
How will it be staying home with a toddler and newborn?
Alllll the questions. But at the same time, I know it’s way better to reflect on what I know to be true rather than all the what-ifs. And even with the what-ifs, I can flip them positively! So I’ve been trying to win that war in my mind and not let the questions and wonders turn into fears and doubts.
Another thing we’ve been trying to focus on is soaking up our time as a family of three!!
From Family of Three to Four
We’ve had so many sweet moments with Hazel, and knowing that a new chapter is opening makes the current chapter that much sweeter. We went out to dinner and ice cream a couple weeks ago, and that was such a sweet memory I’ll cherish forever.
There have also been moments that have just hit us at different times. The other night we were all in our bed, and Tyler just told Hazel how amazing of a daughter she is. He started tearing up, which made me tear up. There have been a lot of moments like that.
At one point Tyler said, “There’s gonna be a mourning all over again, isn’t there?” which we’ve talked about on our postpartum blog and podcast. It’s the mourning of letting go of one season of life to embrace a new one. You mourn what was, but celebrate what’s ahead!
Prepping our Firstborn
We’ve also tried to be really intentional with prepping our firstborn with the upcoming changes. We started telling her stories about all the ways she’ll get to be a part of little sister’s life and be such a great big sister.
We’ll say things like, “Baby sister might have a hard time going to sleep and Hazel will say, ‘It’s okay baby sis - sometimes I have a hard time, but I remember to just count and breathe. You got this.’ And baby sister will say, ‘You’re the best!!’”
Hazel asks for those stories over and over again. She LOVES the thought of being big sis!!
Someone told me, “Imagine if your husband came home with another woman and expected you to live with her. That’s how the older sibling can feel!” You bring a whole new human into the house who’s getting your love and attention, and that can be hard for a toddler, let alone anyone!! So we’re going to try and remember to seek to understand when she gets frustrated and extend grace whenever we can.
We’ve also tried to talk with her about what to expect by showing her pictures and videos from when she was a newborn. We talk about things like how baby won’t be able to talk right away… how she’ll poop a lot and get baths in the sink, how she’ll only drink milk, how much we’ll get to cuddle her, etc.!!
We’ve been pointing out what kinds of toys baby sister will play with. We even got Hazel a gift from little sister for when she’s born and Hazel comes to meet her! We’ll keep you updated on how Hazel takes it, but it’s been fun to show her how she’ll be a part of the process and be the best big sister.
Another helpful thing I was told was to not blame the newborn for things you don’t get to do. So that means avoiding saying things like, “We can’t because of baby sister.” Instead of getting frustrated when we can’t get up and do the things our oldest wants to do, I’m trying to mentally prepare to invite her into the process. How can she help with baby and be brought along? It may go slower, but she’ll find more enjoyment if she’s a part of it!
How it’s Different From the First
There are sooo many things that feel different this time around. First of all, you’re dealing with the emotions of thinking about loving another child. Like how do you have the capacity to love another human so much? But we know you just do. You just will.
And every child will be different! They’ll challenge you and make you better in different ways.
Another thing that’s different is that your identity shift has already happened after your first - you are already mom and dad, so that won’t feel as unfamiliar or new. And along with that, I think there comes more trust in yourselves as parents. You realized that all the things you were trying to do “right” are subjective. You don’t have to do what everyone else tells you to do.
And that’s because God created you to be the best parent for your baby. And vice versa - He chose them to be your children!! You bless them, but they also bless you. You teach them, but they also teach you! We can trust that God loves our babes even greater than we do. He has them in His hands too, so we get to hold them loosely and love them while we have them.
Another thing that’s different is that you don’t have as much time to process having another child because you’re chasing around and entertaining the first one :D With our first, we had the house spotless. Tyler’s mom even came over and helped clean the fine details. I think you also mentally feel a little more prepared with your first, because it’s all you’re thinking about. But it’s a blessing to have something else that is so sweet to focus on too.
You’ve also got to make a plan for the firstborn. That’s important :D I packed a bag for Hazel and lined up my parents to take her when the time comes. We’ve also talked about making future plans where we take Hazel on some solo dates with Mom and Dad after baby comes :) That intentional time with just her will be important to uphold!
Nothing Lasts Forever
The last thing we’ve really tried to remember and cling onto is that nothing lasts forever. In those early newborn days and weeks, it feels like everything is permanent. You will always be sleep-deprived. You will always hear phantom cries. You will always be changing poopy diapers. You will always be woken up in the night.
But that’s just not true.
Every season ends. Nothing lasts forever. And that is a relief, but also heartbreaking at the same time. They won’t always need you to feed them. They won’t always need you to scoop them when they fall down. They won’t always need you to rock them to sleep. It’s all fleeting.
There are days and nights that seem long, but the years really do go by fast.
Each chapter can be hard and challenging, but also beautiful. So here’s to soaking up the moments we have in the here and now, knowing that the chapter will eventually end and another will begin.
The best is yet to come.
Check out our freebies below to bless you as a couple!!