In a world where sex is often detached from its sacred purpose and widely misunderstood, it's essential to look to God's Word to understand why He designed sex specifically for marriage. While our culture may try to redefine sex, the truth remains rooted in Scripture, where sex is seen not only as a beautiful and intimate act between husband and wife but also as a representation of God's covenantal love for us.

Much of the inspiration for this blog is drawn from God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Juli Slattery, a book I highly recommend for engaged or married couples seeking to understand God’s design for marriage and sex more deeply.

Sex Consummates a Marriage

In the Bible, the consummation of marriage is not just a physical act—it’s the union that seals the marriage covenant. When a husband and wife come together sexually, it symbolizes the fulfillment of the "one flesh" principle found in Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, and Ephesians 5:31.

The physical act of sex consummates the marriage. It marks the end of each spouse’s individual life and the beginning of a new, united life together. It’s a profound, physical expression of two becoming one, and it sets the foundation for a lifelong covenant. Sex is not merely an emotional or physical connection; it’s a spiritual one that bonds the couple together in a way no other act can.

God Wants to Marry Us

Sound a little strange? It’s probably because you were taught to separate God from sex growing up. But when you look at Scripture, you’ll realize that this is true: God wants to marry us.

The Bible consistently uses the metaphor of marriage to explain the intimate relationship God desires with us. In the context of marital sex, we see that it symbolizes the deep connection God wants to have with His people. Sex within marriage isn't simply a physical act but also a reflection of the divine relationship between Christ and the Church.

The entire Bible can be seen as a story of a wedding—God’s pursuit of His people and the intimate relationship He desires to have with us. As husband and wife come together in the covenant of marriage, it mirrors how God initiated His love for us and how, through His sacrifice, we are made one with Him.

Juli Slattery beautifully explains this in her book:

“Think for a moment about the way God designed the physiology of sex. The man is aroused by love and initiates union with his wife. When she feels safe and loved, her body opens to allow him to enter into her and they physically become one. Through intercourse of becoming one, the man deposits seed in the woman that has the capacity to bring forth life. Now let’s apply this as one divine metaphor to Jesus and the church. Jesus initiates love. He sees His Bride as beautiful and pure because of His love for us. When we, the bride, understand His love and protection, we receive Him. He abides in us, becoming one with us. Our union with Christ includes the deposit of the Holy Spirit within us, giving the capacity to bring forth spiritual life.”

This metaphor of union and intimacy is not just for married couples—it’s a profound picture of the relationship God wants with each of us.

Sex Demonstrates Covenant Love

One of the most beautiful aspects of marriage is the covenant love that it represents. Juli Slattery points out that over 91% of Americans still believe it’s morally wrong to cheat on your spouse, revealing that deeply embedded within us is the desire for faithful, committed, covenantal love.

"God created sex to be the most tangible expression of the joy of fully giving oneself in covenant," Slattery writes. The act of sex is more than physical pleasure; it is a reflection of the lifelong commitment we make to our spouse and the lifelong commitment God made to us.

“Sex and marriage go together because sex is the physical symbol of the lifelong covenant promise. It is how we celebrate and remember with our bodies what we have chosen to do with our entire lives.”

Marriage Is Under Attack

In today’s culture, marriage is often misunderstood, undervalued, and even attacked. The world has redefined marriage, reducing it to something temporary or based on convenience. The sacredness of marital sex is often overlooked or ignored.

Juli Slattery says it best: “If we want to know what’s most sacred in this world, all we need to do is look for what is most violently profaned.”

And if there’s one thing that’s been attacked repeatedly in today’s society, it’s marriage. The very concept of a lifelong covenant is mocked and diluted. But we, as followers of Christ, must reclaim the truth about marriage and sex.

We need to represent God’s covenant love well in our marriages, making sure that sex within marriage reflects the love, commitment, and intimacy God intended it to be. It’s not always easy. It takes work, communication, and a willingness to live out God’s design for our relationships. But it’s worth it.

Reclaiming God's Design for Marriage and Sex

Sex, as God designed it, is a beautiful and holy act that goes far beyond just physical pleasure. It’s a spiritual connection, a covenantal symbol, and a powerful demonstration of God’s love for His people. When we understand sex in the context of God’s purpose for marriage, it transforms how we view it and how we experience it.

As we celebrate the beauty of God’s design for marriage, let us strive to uphold it as sacred. It’s time to reclaim the truth about sex and marriage, allowing them to reflect the deep love and commitment God has for us.

If you're struggling to connect with your spouse, or if you want to deepen your bond in a way that honors God's purpose for marriage, consider exploring The Marriage Course. It’s a resource that can guide you through challenges and help you cultivate a marriage that mirrors the covenant love God has with His Church.