Handling Disappointments in Life
I had some disappointing things happen this past month that left me feeling a little stuck.
Tyler asked me how I was doing the other day, and it kind of spilled out. Talking through it made me realize how much I was hanging onto.
Then shortly after that, a friend reached out with some heartbreaking news. News that made my disappointments look like peanuts. But despite the hard thing she was experiencing, she gave God glory. She was choosing to trust Him. She was still proclaiming His goodness. She was still filled with the joy of the Lord.
And it humbled me to my core.
It made me realize the molehills I was making into mountains… and how I want to handle the disappointments in my life like she did—honestly, but in a God-honoring way.
Because the fact is, we all will face disappointments in life. Big and small. But the perspective we choose to have in the midst of those disappointing things is what will determine how long we stay stuck—and how much of an impact we can have in pointing others to Jesus even in the midst of it.
So here are the three things my friend’s faith reminded me to fixate on when the hard, disappointing things in life come:
1. Prayer
I just shared recently on social media how sometimes I can honestly struggle to pray. If God is all-knowing and His will is sovereign, what difference do my prayers even make?
Some of that wrestling comes from tragedy and hardship I witnessed (and experienced) during my time in ministry—praying for many things, but not seeing them come to pass. That’s hard.
But in those times I struggle to pray, I have to remember the truth about prayer:
Prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind but about transforming our hearts to align with His.
Prayer should be more about what God wants to do in us rather than what we want God to do for us.
Prayer doesn’t force God’s hand, but rather He weaves our prayers into His divine plan.
Prayer helps us accept that sometimes God’s plan includes suffering for a greater purpose.
Prayer helps us find peace in His presence even when God’s answer is different than we hoped.
Prayer grows and strengthens our relationship with God, just like communication does in marriage.
Prayer isn’t about changing God’s plan but about participating in it.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
2. Gratitude
Over and over again in Scripture we are reminded to express our thankfulness and gratitude to God. That is no coincidence—it’s because gratitude has power.
When my friend shared her news with me, I spent that whole day thinking about all the things I can take for granted… and how so much of what I have is what someone else is desperately praying for.
Gratitude shifts my selfish thoughts from me, myself, and I to thanking God for what He’s given me.
Gratitude takes my eyes off of what I don’t have and sets them on what I do have.
Gratitude stops the comparison game and helps me joyfully operate where God has me.
Gratitude keeps me from anxiety and fear—because it’s impossible for the two to coexist.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
3. Community
Albeit small, the problems I expressed to my husband immediately felt lighter when I confessed them to him. Not because I got space to vent, but because I gave an opportunity for him to give me truth.
Community is everything. Who you surround yourself with is who is shaping your thoughts, behaviors, and character. So choose wisely.
Community can either tear you down or build you up.
Community can encourage you in faith when you’re tempted to choose fear.
Community can support you and bring your perspective back to where it should be.
Now community can and most likely will change throughout your life. But even as the new seasons come, invest in relationships that point you toward Christ.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another…” Hebrews 10:24-25
Superpowers
Those three things—prayer, gratitude, and community—are superpowers God’s given us to use and steward well.
Don’t underestimate them. Don’t neglect them.
There’s so much work God wants to do in and through those things. Because even in the disappointments, He shows up and does a work only He can do.
Just make sure you’re choosing the right things to let Him do it.